Back before a normal weight was seen as skinny, and obese became “normal”, one size fits all was almost universally true. Some articles of clothing or accessories could simply be worn by anyone. Eventually as our love affair of insane portion sizes, snacks with more calories than most family dinners and sitting our asses down doing absolutely nothing for hours on end forced us to change the term into “One size fits most”. A statement that would be true to anyone who could jog a mile without passing out in a cold sweat or feeling the grim reaper’s hand around your second chin. As we approach 2017 we have reached a new low as the infamous walking pile of sludge and cholesterol known as Tess Holliday has declared that “One Size Fits Hardly Anyone”
Yes Tess started her newest tantrum because she couldn’t even get a bathrobe to fit her. In fact she can barely tie it on! If you look closely you can see the sleeves are struggling to contain her bloated arms. I don’t know what material this robe is made of but it’s obviously one of the strongest fabrics known to man. In my experience a “one size fits all” bathrobe can comfortably fit 2 people after some fun in the shower. If you are reading this at home, try cuddling up to your significant other, both of you inside your robe. That should give you an idea of just how much larger Tess is than the average human being.
The issue here is not that a hotel offers robes that could fit smaller sumo wrestlers, it’s the delusional mindset and level of entitlement that fat acceptance tends to flaunt in the guise of activism. This robe would clearly fit most couples let alone an individual but Tess insists that one size fits hardly anyone, simply because she can’t manage to wrap what equates to a terry cloth tarp around the entirety of her corpulent waistline. What Tess doesn’t seem to get is she is not just anyone, she is a train wreck of poor life choices. Tess continues to wreck her body beyond all repair as she digs herself an early extra large grave in exchange for some small modicum of fame and money.
You would think this would be the point where the media would finally give Tess a little side eye and a reality check but that is not the case. Since she has gotten some attention from People, and several other sites, some of which joke about how small these robes and towels are, so I suspect that she will continue using the hashtag. Don’t be surprised if she pushes this narrative well after the holidays as she continues to expand and struggle to fit in clothes designed for those expected to live past 40.
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