I’ve said a few things about Tess regarding how she hides not only her size but what it’s doing to her in the past. It hasn’t exactly been hard to point out the impact obesity has had. When a woman can’t stand up under her own power, or requires more special effects than the latest StarWars flick. Still I can hear the fatties whine that I have an obvious bias against a sack of tallow that is paraded around the internet as if it were human.
Well now I have cold, unfeeling and painfully honest software to help confirm that the sow known as Tess Munster is a god damn optical illusion that is coming apart at the seams!
ETH has created new software that will rate your age, gender, and overall attractiveness based on a simple photo upload! You may have seen it popping up on social media via the #HowHot hashtag. So I figured hey lets take some of Tess’ bigger works of deception and compare them to her when he doesn’t have complete control over makeup, camera angles and egregious levels of Photoshop to see how much manipulation she needs for her “beauty” to show through!
As you can see Tess’s deceptive use of make up, airbrushing, and several other techniques to contour her face result in something that can fool this software into thinking she is a “Goddess”. With a lighter application of her Instagram smoke and mirrors, she drops down to a “Hot” and gains a year in age. Once we use a screen cap from her recent yahoo interview though, things change dramatically.
Yes this is what Tess looks like when put next to a normal human being.
Without complete control of the camera angle her double chin is easily exposed and she can no longer frame the image with her hair to mask her size. Since Tess can’t actually suck her cheeks in at all times you see how bloated her face is. Even with professional make up Tess gains a few more years and the software can now make a proper assessment. Sadly the ratings dont go lower than “Hmm”! Is the software considering if this is infact a human being, and not just the leftovers from the liposuction clinic? Keep in mind that is still with professional make up, so the system is being a tad forgiving when it comes to her age. If this were a truly natural picture of Tess she would probably be seen closer to 40 years old as her Super Morbid Obesity is taking its toll, aging her beyond her years at an alarming rate.
When the only way you can be perceived as attractive is through using more movie magic than any Hollywood blockbuster the only thing left to do is its say #Effyourbeautystandards right back to Tess.
The post #HowHot shreds Tess Munster like a slow roasted pig! appeared first on NotYourGoodFatty.com.